pep talk

Hey buddy, it's your momma. I just wanted to let you know that it's okay to come out of there, when you're ready of course. I promise you'll like it. I mean, it's not the safe, warm, cozy haven that you've been living in for the last nine months, but there's tons of neat stuff to see and hear, and taste! It's so cool. There's a lot you'll need to learn, like how to breath our air and eat and move around freely now that you're not in that little bubble (but you've been moving like a champ for months), then later, how to roll over and walk and talk and play and drive mom and dad crazy! But that's half the fun of being a baby.

There are things we want to learn about you too, y'know, like what color your eyes are, whether or not you got as many cowlicks as we're all anticipating, and fingers and toes of course. We all would love to see you smile and laugh, and know that you're a healthy, happy kid, so we can have plenty of room to screw you up... joking. Which leads to the best part about being out here - meeting all the new people! All of our family and friends are eagerly awaiting your arrival so we can hold you and touch you, kiss your soft cheeks and fuzzy head, feed you and nurture you, watch you sleep (it might sound boring to you, but it's fascinating to us), and help you to learn and grow so you can become a nice, smart, well-rounded person like the rest of us!

Of all the pals and Cousins, Aunts and Uncles, Grandmas and Grandpas (and Greats and Great-Greats) that you'll get to meet, I know that your favoretest person is gonna be, without a doubt, your daddy. He's definitely mine, mostly because of how much he cares about others and can always make people smile, how you can't help but be happy and have a good time when you're with him. Then there's his charm and good looks of course, which you might not care so much about just yet, but it's likely that he passed them onto you, along with his tendency to cause mischief no doubt. He might call you funny names and rough you up a little bit, but that's just how he shows his love, and it's never without tenderness. He is just dying to meet you kiddo, to officially become a father and be able to call you his son, to stare into your eyes and see his future - our life as a complete family.

You have no idea how loved you already are, how precious you are to us. Come out to join us and we'll do our best to show you in actions and words, along with everything else we wish we could tell you, but that you'll never understand until you're a parent yourself, just like our moms and dads have always told us. Michael and I won't know for sure either until you make this difficult journey into our world, where we can care for you and adore you, and you can show us everything we've been missing, and all the secrets of the universe. I promise that I'll do my best to get you here in one piece, with as little trauma as possible, and to be the greatest mother in the world from then on. I know that this is what I am meant to do, and I've been waiting for this moment for almost my whole life. Now, it's okay that you've made me wait a little longer than I was planning, but no more, alright? Baby, it's time.

procrastinating

I think Michael hit the nail on the head today when he said "Great, our kid's already procrastinating." It's something he and I are both guilty of, and it seems we've passed it on to our son.

For those of you who know my due date was supposed to be January 24th, don't think that I'm holding out on you or anything. I still haven't had the baby, and I'm not showing an signs that labor's coming on any time in the immediate future. No dilation, no effacement, no water breakage, and no real contractions. It's pretty frustrating waiting every minute of the day for something to get started, but i'm trying my best not to get bitter and crabby.

I think that normally I'd be fine with him being a little late; he can take all the time he needs. However, tomorrow morning the Marine Corps is sending my husband away for two weeks, that is, unless I have the baby tonight. Talk about pressure. There's a chance that I won't have any help in this, that Michael's going to miss out on the most significant event of our lives, and it's just crazy stressful to think about, and slightly depressing.

Of course, being this pregnant, I'm already really emotional, and this is just putting me over the top. I know it's really important to stay positive though, so I'm just telling myself that it could be a lot worse, that my baby is healthy and at least his father is stateside. Besides, there's still a chance that someone down the chain of command will do us a favor and let Michael stay home, or come back from Virginia once I go into labor, and everything might go just swimmingly. There's at least some hope, right?

looking back

As we draw nearer to the arrival of our little man, I find myself remeniscing on these last nine months of having him in my belly. Overall I'd say it was a very pleasant experience, and here are a few reasons why:

-We took the pregnancy test at 4am the morning that we were leaving from Moses Lake to head to our new home in Jacksonville. We had a pretty strong hunch of what the result was going to be, so we were at least a little prepared to see that little pink plus sign. It's amusing that we'd watched the movie Knocked Up the night before, so really the timing couldn't have been better. I mean, it was hard to keep the news to ourselves as we were saying our goodbyes, but we got to talk and make plans for the next 3,000 miles - how we were going to decorate the room, what we might name him/her, when we should start to tell people - it was a lot of fun.

-We made the big announcement a couple weeks into June, though some friends and relatives were accidentally left out of the loop for a while. Most people's reactions we along the lines of "Well that didn't take long" and "Yeah, we figured that was coming." It kind of took away from the excitement of it all, but everyone was generally very pleased to hear the news, and some were so ecstatic they screamed and probably headed straight to the nearest store to look at baby stuff.

-Right around that same time, I started experiencing some morning sickness, later to become all-day nausea, usually brought on by being close to Michael. This was a very unfortunate coincidence, because I just couldn't stay away from him. Luckily, I only ever discovered one food aversion, which was, strangely enough, cilantro, but I was bummed that I didn't get any fun cravings either. I mean, there's the usual stuff like cookies, ice cream, candy, chocolate of any kind... but I couldn't possibly blame that on the pregnancy and keep a straight face. Actually, my life-long sweet tooth took a little break during the first four or five months and I could actually eat healthy, but since then it's come back full force, and I've had to be a little more disciplined.

-Aside from the stretch marks and loss of mobility, I've really enjoyed the changes that have happened to my body. There was the awkward stage when I just looked pudgy, which actually lasted until my fifth month or so, but now I look enormous and I love it. I mean I wouldn't want to stay this way forever, and at this point I'm eager to get back to my normal shape, but I've always appreciated the look of a glowing pregnant woman. I feel so beautiful as a mother-to-be, with all my extra curves, and yes, the with-child-waddle. People tell me all the time that I've kept a good figure, or that I'm a "cute pregnant lady," which is really nice to hear when you're wearing size jumbo.

-People become really funny when you're pregnant. They want to give you advice and tell you every detail of their pregnancy or delivery, or those of someone they know. They think it's a free-for-all to touch your stomach and say all sorts of inappropriate things about your body or your love life. I mean I've never been an especially private person, so I didn't care too much, but I always found it so amusing. "You're carrying him in your thighs." That one was the best.

-One of my favorite moments was hearing his heartbeat for the first time. Until then, he was kind of a presence that we had to just believe was there, with no actual evidence but what a few urine tests told us. When we heard the fast-paced Lub-Dub of an 11-week old heart, it brought tears to my eyes, because it was proof that this dream was a reality. The next best thing was feeling him move inside me. They were such small motions at first, little giggles and gas bubbles, but now he's darn near kicking a hole in my stomach and making his grand entrance that way! Michael always makes fun of me because I can't ever help but laugh when he gives me a surprise punch or somersault, even though I "should be used to it by now."

-The milestones are obviously the easiest to remember, but the most delightful stage for me has been this last month or two, the homestretch. Setting up his room and making all the preparations, eagerly awaiting his arrival, dreaming about having this little bundle of joy to hold and love up on... it's making me crazy with anticipation but sane at the same time. This life inside me is an inevitable; whether I'm ready or not, I'm going to be a mother. I think that's the best gift of all, that I get to care for this person, that he'll be more than just a twinkle in my eye and a bump in my belly. He's gonna be one awesome little dude.

-The really neat thing is seeing that same excitement on his daddy's face, and to hear it in even the smallest comment about our future son. I can't wait to see Michael as a father, and to somehow find room in my heart, along with our new addition, to love him even more for it.

There are a lot of other little perks, like using my belly as a table and getting to eat as much as I want (though sometimes I don't want to but have to anyways). I receive some very nice massages, a lot of good hugs and sweet kisses when my emotions get the better of me, and most often ridicule from Michael about how huge I am or the fact that I have to grunt to get up off the couch, but I've had a lot of fun with it. Yes, pregnancy can be a very enjoyable phase of life, if you go at it with the right attitude. "You see this? *points to belly* This is my Do Whatever I Want and Get Away With It belly." It's true. Except I can't dance in public. No one likes that very much.

so many clothes

Our collection started with a modest two garbage bags full of baby clothes that I bought used one LejeuneYardSales.com, about 100 pieces in all. Some were very cute and others weren't even worth keeping. I washed 'em up and organized them into two big canvas bins in a shelf unit and I thought we were all set. Then came Christmas, visiting grandparents- and great-grandparents-to-be (not to mention aunts, uncles, siblings, and friends), and everyone gifted a few more adorable outfits, and some very sweet and snuggly blankets. We got another box full of clothes (also with roughly 100 items) from Grandma Kathy alone... and these are just size 0-3 months! Then there's a bin or two full of 3-9 month things, and 9+ items waiting for us back in Washington. I swear, we won't have to wash a single outfit until he's a year old.

Of the 75 onesies we have, my favorites are "Chicks Dig Me," "I Live For Cars and Girls," and anything with duckies or baseball theme, because they're just so Michael, and I have a feeling Caleb is going to take after his dad in a lot of ways. I can't wait to dress him in the "Lock Up Your Daughters" t-shirt (compliments of Grandpa Chris) and tote him around the store. He's gonna be a little heart-breaker, so watch out.

I've got his first couple outfits - complete with matching hats and socks - chosen and packed away in our hospital bag. I think they might provide clothes for the first few days, and who knows how big he'll be, but there's no harm in being prepared, right? Well, as much as I can be anyways.

getting excited

Up until this point, I've been a little apprehensive about giving birth at the Naval Hospital, because I didn't really know what kind of procedures the doctors there favor or how much they're going to let me call the shots. The best conception I could gather was mostly from probing the midwife that I go to for my regular check-ups at the OB clinic in town, Cdr. Sirois. Unfortunately, there's only a small chance that she will actually be the one delivering me, given that there are about six other midwives and a few doctors that rotate shifts in the birthing unit, and I have no idea how the rest of them will respond to my wishes for a completely natural birth.

However, yesterday I got to take a tour of the hospital and the birthing rooms they have there, and I must say, they are amazing! Lots of room, a nice big bed, rocking chair, and a small hide-away lounger in case Michael gets tired. There's a private bathroom attached and a shower inside, and let's not mention the TV and DVD player to get us through the long hours of those first couple stages. The woman that showed us around even explained how things work with the whole process, and it sounds like I have nothing to worry about. They're not going to force too many medical opinions on me or take my baby away two minutes after he's born. I might have to make a stand against having an IV, fetal moitoring, and the Vitamin K shot, but I've had a couple people assure me that they try to respect the wishes of the parents, so I feel relieved that there won't be a ton of pressure. I might get the birth I want.

One more thing that makes me incredibly hopeful for the big day is that there is another midwife I've seen a couple times, once at about 26 weeks and again just today, that I am completely in love with. Her name is Ms. LaMaire, and I'm practically planning my delivery around her schedule at the hospital, which means I'm shooting for sometime between 8pm on the 23rd and 8am on the 24th. I just know that I'd have the best experience if she was the one attending. While getting to know each other a little bit, we discussed my beliefs about pre- and post-natal care, how I'd like the delivery to go, and agreed with each other about everything. Like she really seems to be one of those midwives that favors natural or even home births, but just happens to work in a medical facility. I really appreciated her feedback and advice for how to manuever around the system, her referral to a pediatrician that won't mind so much when i opt out of vaccinations, along with a few suggestions for books and documentaries I should look into.

I went straight home and watched The Business of Being Born, which was pretty awesome I must day. Not only the light that they were shining on the subject, but the rawness in the footage, was very inspiring. Every time one of those babies came out and was placed in the arms of his or her mother, I broke down into tears. They were happy tears, mind you. I can't wait for that moment, to look into his eyes and say "Hey there, I'm your momma."

Just one more week...

nesting

After months of hard work, I think I've finally put the finishing touches on the 'nursery'. Being a stay-at-home mother-to-be, I've really had nothing better to do with my time - while Michael's at work anyways. There was already a lot of color in the room, but now it feels like it has more of a theme, and should stimulate Caleb's senses nicely.

The crib bedding was my favorite part, until we got everything else, that is.

I was thrilled to find this mobile (on sale) at Target. We'd been seaching for weeks for one that matched the bedding and the color scheme we wanted. And look! Matching receiving blankets!

Maybe I got a little carried away with painting the wooden letters and the little figurines (honestly, it took HOURS), but it was a lot of fun, and I don't mind putting so much time into something for my guy.

We bought these wooden pieces at Michael's, along with a small bottle of acrylic paint in every color (save purple), and these are the final product. You'll notice on the airplane, a little note from Caleb's daddy to his mommy. That was fun to find there. I should leave my paints out more often.

I love this. The Stover Express.

We're using colorful canvas storage bins to hold all of his clothes and blankets and other goodies that we've gotten as gifts. More on that later when I get them all washed and organized. I think we have everthing we're gonna need for the first little bit, except a monitor, a mattress pad, and..... the baby! Yay for feeling prepared, at last.

"Head, DOWN!"

That line, of course, is quoted from Mike Myers on So I Married an Axe Murderer. My cousin Summer and I have been joking about it, because that is just what our little Caleb has been needing to do. People have been poking my belly here and there, trying to help me determine which end is what, spurring some pretty silly questions such as "Is he kicking... or punching?" "Is that a butt, or a head?" and my favorite, "What the heck is that?" Even though it was unclear exactly how he was laying, it seemed apparent that it wasn't head down. I don't think I would've even realized that his position should be cause for any concern until my mother pointed out that he should've had his head down some time ago. He's running out of wiggle room in there, and the longer he stays in an oblique or breach position, the less likely he is to turn before the delivery. Of course, I'm afraid of any potential complications in the birth, so I brainstormed with several people and cracked a book or two, looking for ways to help encourage him to flip over, and settled on a few positions that were most likely to help, even if it would take a week or more.

I got back to NC on Monday and had an OB appointment today to look forward to. I hoped that if he hadn't turned by now, my midwife would've been able to tell me how I might flip hime, or refer me to someone that could. Luckily though, she did a bit of poking around my lower abdomen, found a heartbeat one the right side of my stomach, and declared that he did have his head down afterall, so there is nothing to worry about. Phew!

The only thing that concerns me now is that since he's right-side-up, he really could come any day. He still has to engage, but after that happens, it's only a matter of time... then i have to do the deed, and that's slightly nerve-wrecking. I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't mind too much if he decided to come a little early. Not because I'm fed up with being pregnant just yet (though it can be irritating and uncomfortable at times), but because I can't wait to meet the little fella! I'm trying to imagine what he'll look like, and how tiny he's going to be, what his cry is going to sound like, his sneezes, and eventually, his giggles. I really want to know if he'll have blue eyes or brown, but I guess I'll have to wait.

turbulence

Good news!! I didn't go into labor on the plane flying home from Washington, or in any of the airports along the way. The first flight I was on did have to make an emergency landing in Spokane, however, due to one man losng consciousness because he didn't take his blood pressure medication that morning... at least that's the story I got. I wonder if events like that ever make the news. To be honest, I was just really relieved I wasn't the reason we had to touch down. Although the delay turned my would-have-been 7-hour travel day into a 12-hour one (not including driving time to and from the airports), it opened up a few seats in the back so this prego could take a nap during the change-over, and spread out a bit for the rest of a very long flight to Chicago. Also, it made it so I didn't have to wait 3+ hours for Michael to come pick me up in Raleigh, though it made for a pretty late night for us both, and my poor hunny had to work in the morning.

After three weeks at home visiting my family and friends - and Michael's - it's so good to be back in my own house and to not have anything pressing to do. As much as I enjoyed catching up with everyone and spending quality time with those I love and miss terribly, it did get a little stressful moving from house to house, making sure everyone got as much time with us as they wanted, and driving about as often as we slept. I definitely got what I needed out of that vacation: a lot of good conversation, some laughter thrown in there, a few people to rub my belly and tell me I still look great (that's something I think every pregnant lady wants to hear!), a little advice, a LOT of snow, along with Christmas cheer and some holiday traditions I've grown up with, a taste of Washington, and also, a chance to miss my humble little duplex in good ol' Jacksonville, North Carolina. I had been spending way too much time cooped up in this house, but now that I've been away, I love it all over again. That is, afterall, part of what trips like this one are all about.

new beginings

I guess you could say that it's one of my resolutions to start up this blog about my Bump and the sweet little boy that will soon be in our lives, and what day would be more suitable for the first entry than the first day of the new year? The obvious intention is to keep friends and relatives up-to-date on all the happenings in the Stover household, most importantly those of baby Caleb, but I also thought it would be neat to have this space to help me reflect, and later, to remenisce. It's a project that I've been looking forward to doing ever since we found out we were expecting, and since I've had my sister-in-law's blog as an example. I know our son is going to be the biggest joy, and I want to be able to share him with everyone, even if it has to be through words, pictures, and videos, considering most of the people in our lives won't have the chance to witness it first-hand for some time...


This is the first of many pictures you will see that features me, my wonderful husband Michael, and our tiny blessing beneath the bump, Caleb Preston Stover. The shot was taken by my big brother Darin's wife Deanna the day after Christmas, and I absolutely love it. I'd say we're pretty much smitten with our little man already (not to mention madly in love with each other ;]), and overall very excited to meet him and embark upon the incredible journey that is parenthood!

I've heard there's no way to prepare for what having a baby actually requires - mentally, emotionally, and physically - and I know it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I also have a pretty good feeling that it'll be the most thrilling and rewarding experience of my life, and I really feel like I'm ready... most of the time. I can't imagine a greater happiness than sharing all the love I posess with my spouse and with this child, and seeing the amazing person he turns out to be.

So here's to the new year, and the new beginnings it will bring. I hope to continue to better myself, to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be, and to enrich the lives of those I love.